My Neard: Threatening But Not Dangerous

by Doug MacRostie

I used to think I brought a good energy into a room; made people smile, lightened the mood, and brightened things up. Just look at this pic of me rockin’ an infant at 10KLF – safe and fun, right?

Noise-reducing headphones for the kid, a smile, sun glasses, my neard…

Then my wife posted this on Facebook: “According to The Trustworthiness of Beards scale – Doug’s ‘Neard’ (or neck beard) makes him threatening. LOLzzz”.

Ouch, blind sided by Wifey. Could the source of all my power actually be working against me? I checked out the scale and yes, my neard is threatening. Click it to see full size:

I started off in a deep state of denial, trying to claim I had the ‘Abe Lincoln’ style Chin Strap – but no, I don’t. I am an all natural neck beard the same way Joe Dirt was all natural white trash.

The scale is “based on absolutely no scientific evidence” which makes it all the more meaningful. It’s to the point instead of long-windedly factual.

The scale speaks the truth, my neard should be feared. Seriously, I don’t shave or trim or anything – this is exactly how it grows.

Some find it gnarly, some find it nasty.

I own it either way.

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4 Responses to “My Neard: Threatening But Not Dangerous”

  1. Sorry, hate the neard. Like the wearer. The kid makes it, neard or no.

  2. Lets do braids again, sometime :)

  3. Keep it neardy, I think it’s awesome!

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